Hello hello old blog. It has been a long while. Much has happened since the last time I even remember writing on here.

August to December 2016:
These months had me living my travel dream. I started in Vietnam travelling Northward, crossed the border into China where I fell madly in love with rockclimbing, had my trip end prematurely because of Visa problems, returned home in September and decided to go back to China again in October. I then spent almost a month in the south of China, climbing, hiking, travelling alone, meeting locals and other travellers, doing the travelling I've always dreamed of. I met a boy too and thought nothing of it until we met again in Laos. With him I experienced Laos and quite possibly the most intense connection I've ever had with another human being. It was 3 solid weeks of pure travel. He was beautiful, we were beautiful, the experiences were beautiful and life was a different shade of beautiful. I then spent about 5 days heading home overland, zipping through Thailand and Malaysia via its Eastern railway land.

2017:
A huge part of 2017 was spent trying to close the chapter with the boy. We ended it after the trip but started texting each other again in March. The connection still intense and present but there was no intent to take us anywhere. 2017 was emotional. Me trying to take things easy and learning that I couldn't be less or take things chill when I really like someone.

January 2017:
2017 also saw me going to Krabi again to rockclimb. I was still trying to get over the boy and the travelling reminded me of him. But I trudged on and had a great climbing trip, meeting people I'd climb with from China and Laos again.

June 2017:
I planned a trip to Taiwan for the family...an undertaking I am not prepared to do again for it was tiring and uninspiring. I was also an emotional mess and Taiwan's manicured places didn't appeal to me. The bright side of that initially uninspiring trip though was the 5 days I spent alone after the family headed home. It cemented my love of being alone and for the easy travelling of staying and leaving places as you so desired, with no plans or expectations, like China and Laos.

July 2017:
I started work with OBS and dove straight into a 21 day camp. I discovered my willingness to share and be open and vulnerable with people. Learned that it is good to have people too, that despite my love for alone time, the people are important too. During a 3 day 2 night solo camp, I again appreciated my absolute comfort at being alone with me and my thoughts, something not everyone is comfortable with.

The OBS training journey too, stretched me. It pushed me physically like never before and I definitely grew stronger from it. Being a non swimmer to one that was able to do laps is a testament to that.

December 2017:
In December, I decided to check Myanmar off the list. Spent about 9 days there. Yangon - Bagan - Kalaw - Inle - Yangon. It wasn't a mindblowing trip, the boy was still on my mind a lot, but looking back at photos, it was a wonderful experience. The people friendly, the places rustic, the city charming. I thought I got some of my groove back and found my inner peace but alas, texting the boy upon my return proved my thoughts wrong.

I digress. This isn't supposed to be a post about the boy but he was very much intwined in the things I did and in my thoughts so I think it only appropriate I mention him.

Anyhoos, I recently discovered he's dating someone else now which definitely helps with the moving on but sucks too. I think I'm moving past the sadness and just trying to really truly truly let things go now.

March 2018:
That aside, I took my first trip of 2018 last weekend. Tioman with Lynette to get my AOW done. It was a good trip, did things for the first time, had plenty of heart to heart talks with the childhood friend. I love her dearly and I'm So thankful we're still in each other's lives.

The short trip has left me feeling pretty inspired though. I watched Expedition Happiness during it which is possibly the main reason for the inspired feels. I want to get more travels done. Keep trudging on through my emotions and thoughts and see the big picture and find my peace and learn more about myself and this world.

I want to take my parents on trips so Hokkaido is probably happening in October. I'm thinking over the next couple of years, during my time with OBS, these are some trips I would want to do/could potentially take during course breaks:

1) Sri Lanka + Maldives for safaris and diving
2) Hokkaido, Japan with the parents
3) Mongolia, hopefully via the train from China, stay in a yurt for several days
4) Philippines for climbing and diving
5) Hong Kong, visit Sophia, climb and hike
6) Israel if time permits, for climbing and holy historic reasons haha, possibly with the parents too.
7) Australia, to hang with Sherman and rockclimb maybe

The trips may not all happen but it's good to have this excitement to travel again. In trying to adapt to this new job I put all travel plans on hold but I think it's safe to start building those sandcastles in the air now. We'll see how things go.

Life is good. I'll trudge on through and keep living like I always do.

Some place else is calling now

Several years back when I first started this travel focused blog, I did a post about how Yangshuo was calling. I remember at that point in time, I watched a documentary and then photos of this place kept popping up on my Tumblr feed and social media. I felt this bubbling excitement in me as I made a mental note that I would have to visit Yangshuo in the future. I felt the place calling me.

Today and these days, just like those days many moons ago, I feel that same call from the Middle East and North Africa. More specifically Israel and Oman and Algeria...

Israel is a no brainer as to why. I knew I had to climb there after climbing with Vladimir and Aahron in Yangshuo during my first trip there. The Israeli boy I met and travelled Laos with contributed to the fascination with the country as well. Today especially though, my social media feed has been sprinkling me with posts related to the country. Short trips out of Jeruselem, a girl living in Jaffa, Tel Aviv night life. Desert landscapes, old buildings, historical places, a different culture, an intriguing religion, beautiful women and men.

Oman was because of a expertvagabond, a traveller blogger who roadtripped through the country with his girlfriend. Amazing landscape, blue pools, empty spots, campsites. Urrgh so appealing! I had no idea Oman was that beautiful and the exposure through this blogger definitely put it on the list for me.

Algeria is another no brainer considering my Bro in Law is from there. Imen is there too and I would have someone to show me around!

My brain is already cooking up my next big trip. Central Asia, Middle East and the US of A. I'm not sure if it is going to be too ambitious but one can dream. I'm already putting together a road trip playlist for the US of A hahaha

I'll build my sandcastles in the air for now and when the time is right, I'm going make these sandcastles real like I always do.

Sometimes I can almost imagine myself driving down these desert roads, Monument Valley in the distance. Sometimes I can almost feeeel myself at these places. I get this familiar surge of excitement in my body like I did when I was a young 18 year old burning with passion to travel. I'm glad I didn't lose that fire and that I made these trips happen.

I am excited for whatever's going to happen next.

Movement and stillness

Movement is essential to life, but so is stillness. If you can’t appreciate one, you can’t fully appreciate the other.

http://matadornetwork.com/bnt/travelled-nonstop-5-years-heres-learned-im-glad/

Back and going again?

SO. I have not been updating this space but I feel compelled to type today. I find that everytime I'm going through a transition, from happy to sad/high to low and vice versa, I need to type. I need to get my thoughts out. I just got back from China. The trip was part of the big SEA trip that I've been wanting to do.

The original plan was supposed to be Singapore - China but I guess given the practicalities of my situation - I'd covered most of Malaysia and most of the other SEAsian countries in the past years, I didn't want to do the whole stretch alone, I had Mengying to do Vietnam with -  I decided to let myself let go of my fixation on SEA Overland and just cover Vietnam and China. I used to think a trip like that would need a lot of planning and pre-arranging but after all the travelling I've done and because I wasn't rushing against time, I let this trip be super chill and relaxed. We came up with an outline on our schedule, threw in stuff we knew we wanted to do and basically just went with the flow for the rest of it.

Initially I wanted to just cover Vietnam and a bit of China but my plans developed and I became fixated on the possibility of staying in China for longer. I tried to get a 3 month visa in Singapore but was met with the need of having evidence of travel out of China. How I'm expected to have something like that booked when I don't even know if I'll get a visa - I don't know! So I decided to give up on getting the visa in Singapore and decided to go to Hanoi to do it instead. At this point in time, I was leaving it up to fate and was being very chill about it. If it worked out, I'd stay longer, if not, I'd come home. BUTTT as the trip went on, my fixation on staying longer in China grew. I reaaaally wanted to at least get my butt to Yunnan. We had a small window of 4 hours to do my visa application in Hanoi but that window closed when we arrived in the city later than we expected. Met with yet another bump in my  plan, I calmly decided that I would get an extension in China instead. It was my last resort. I wasn't sure if it would work but I would try it. My gut already told me when I was back in Singapore that it might not work out and as always, my gut was right. Free visas can't get extensions in China. Info was scarce online and I couldn't have known. Given that I had already told my family I would come back if the visa didn't work out, I decided to do that. Bought a flight home and decided to spend the rest of my time in Yangshuo.

I told myself it would be fine, Yunnan can wait, I shouldn't push it, I should keep to my word, my family wants me home. I was doing good making peace with my decision until I got to Yangshuo again. I started rockclimbing, hanging out with these guys, getting into a bit of a routine, getting comfortable. As 7 September drew closer, the inner battle became louder. I didn't want to leave but I had to. I was legitimately sad the whole way to the airport and had a shit time trying to keep my emotions together. I kept wanting to cry, tearing up thinking about the past days, the moments, the people. Waking up in my own bed that first morning back broke my heart. I cried. I don't think I'd ever gotten withdrawal that bad before. I wasn't ready to be back and yet here I was.





Fast forward a couple of days, my emotions have calmed down a bit and I'm now playing with the possibility of going back to China. Not to go back to how amazing my last couple of days in Yangshuo had been but to go back to do what I wanted to do. Yunnan. I woke up yesterday morning, scrolled through my insta feed and it dawned on me that I wanted to do a good hike. I hadn't done it this year. Rinjani was supposed to be it but that didn't work out, Sapa fed that craving but it wasn't enough. That was what I wanted. I want the freedom of just travelling without commitments or a fixed plan and I want to feed the adventurous soul in me. The one in search of a good cycle in amazing landscape, a good hike that'll leave me breathless.

I'm not saying for certain what I'm going to do next but it will involve one of those things. China is a definite consideration. We'll see how things go. Cup half empty is I'm sad and moping about the days past and cup half full is me realizing I still have all this freedom, there is no pressure to settle and I can figure out what I want to do next in terms of travel. It is all good.

2016

I am at a bad place. Emotional.

Another month of firsts!

I'm into my second week of university! Trimester 4 and just 1 more to go! How time has flown.

So this trimester break, I had about three full weeks to gallivant but I decided to take it easy and do short trips instead of back to back trips like the last break. I needed to work more anyways and I wanted to spend more time at home (lazing haha).

Even though I wasn't travelling around as much, in true Desiree fashion, I made sure I was doing shit! And do shit I did!
 
It was yet another holiday break of firsts. I see a pattern forming with my school breaks. I'm always pushing myself to experience new things whenever I get the chance to. Last holiday it was filled with some good Malaysia loving, volunteering at a turtle conservation centre for a week on Tioman and tripping from place to place for 11 days around Malaysia .

When one travels, it is basically doing stuff for the first time and gaining new experiences and feeling alive. I guess that's largely why I love it. Waking up in Juara/Ipoh/Penang/Langkawi, finding street art on your own, exploring places without your parents, ziplining through Langkawi's forests, rockclimbing on granite walls, beach patrols for turtle nests at 6.30am in the morning, snorkelling alone.

This holiday I didn't pack my 3 week break as much as the last and it was exactly how I wanted it to be. I had just any many first experiences though.

For starters, I am officially an Open Water Diver! Woohoooo. Spent 10-14 October with Lynette on Salang, Tioman and got certified with B&J Dive Centre. We really lucked out with a great instructor - Faizal! He was super chill, knowledgeable, clear in his instruction and he was hilarious. So thankful we got him and so glad I got to do this with Lynette! Travelling with her is easy and always so chill and fun.

I now know why people get hooked on diving! It truly is a completely different realm for one to explore. I said to someone, "It's like a blessing and a curse because now you have this whole new world to explore but that just adds on to your already long list of things you want to do before you die." Haha. We got lucky and got to see a turtle twice during our first fun dive! Unfortunately, no photos of us diving but here are some other photos!

 

 Oh and something else I did for the first time! Beer funnel!! They called it the "Snorkel Test" and said it was something we had to do after we passed. Haha. I downed a bottle of cider and some weirdass mixture and within 5 minutes, I was not able to function normally. It was quite an experience. Haha. Not sure if they're laughing at me in the photo below but I love it because it captures how ridick that evening was. In my semi-functionable state, I actually managed to take photos of people with my horrid phone flash. Haha.

 
Next on the list of firsts - rockclimbing and tree climbing at Dairy Farm Quarry! I rockclimbed on a natural rock wall for the first time in Singapore! That was a pretty awesome day with Nina. I joined a 3 in 1 rockclimb + tree climb + trek activity with the Singapore Adventure Nature Lovers group on Meetup. We got to explore Dairy Farm - a place I had not been to since I was a child during dad's SHHH Family Day. It was great fun experiencing a new place in our own backyard. I did not think I would ever get the chance to rockclimb at Dairy Farm but alas, I now have that under my belt! Also tried tree climbing, the professional arborist way - something I'd always wanted to try ever since I started working with NParks.

24-26 October! Kayaked 36km around Pulau Sibu and Pulau Tinggi!

Most days I'm me

Somedays I'm thankful and content,
Somedays I wish things were better.

Somedays I'm high strung and chatty,
Somedays I'm low and I just want to keep to myself.

Somedays I'm fulfilled and I want proclaim how good life is,
Somedays I vacillate between sadness and telling myself I'll be okay.

Somedays  I'm all postivity,
Somedays I struggle with demons of negativity.

Somedays I'm confident as hell,
Somedays I struggle with loving myself.

Somedays I love being alone and I embrace my independence,
Somedays I feel lonely and I wish I had someone.

Somedays, most of these days, all these days, I'm me.